FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY & FOX ENTERTAINMENT GROUP After having watched the exploitive, "Who's Your Daddy?", my fears have been realized. The search and reunion that many adoptees strive for has now been trivialized. For many, search does not always necessitate reunion - for those, sometimes the information alone is enough. The FOX special did nothing to explore the reasons why an adoptee's search and reunion is made difficult or impossible by state laws. Instead the show aimed for an emotional reaction, often leaping shamelessly into melodrama. Simply because something might be moving, doesn't make it good TV; especially when the manipulation is obvious. My concern isn't so much for the female adoptee and her birth family, but for the perception of an adoptee's search by those who watched the show. Many adoptees who do reunite with their birthparents find it hard to address them as "Mom" or "Dad" even after time. "T.J." - the adoptee featured on this special seemed to discard her adoptive parents readily, while her adoptive parents were only mentioned in passing. I suspect that this interpretation is due to the muddled and contrived editing. Perhaps there was more back-story and involvement regarding the adoptive parents, but the producers chose to instead spend more time with vapid attempts at tear-jerking lead-outs to commercial. Adoptive parents don't want to simply be an adopted child's parent until he or she chooses to reunite with their birthparents. It has been these fears by adoptive parents, in my opinion, which have stalled most of the progress in adoptee rights reform. This FOX show will only fuel that fear. Perception is reality, and I am afraid that "Who's Your Daddy?" contains many false perceptions. While the National Adoption Council may have underlying concerns that prospective adoptive parents may see the special and have second thoughts about adopting, I fear that "adoptive parent-extremists" if you will, may become a larger and harsher adversary to opening records and changing laws if shows like this persist. Kevin Healey, one of the show's executive producers, has said in the press that he was taken aback by the reaction given the fact that the participants, their biological parents, and their adoptive parents were all willing and informed. What he doesn't seem to understand is that the issue he chose to exploit isn't only about the small group of people he used on his show. Many adoptees, birthparents and adoptive parents who form an adoption triad have different feelings and beliefs about searching. It is a deeply personal choice and usually a private journey. It is the entire triad that is affected when scandalous shows like this try to compress a person's epic story into less than one hour. Paid search services like ReuniteToday.com who got free advertisement from FOX, would be rendered moot if laws were changed. If FOX truly wants to support reunions, then why not support changing the adoption laws in the remaining 45 states that do not allow adult adoptees unconditional access to their own original birth certificates? Rome did not fall in a day - but after a steady decline in values. We used to have coliseums with gladiators who when not forced, would fight for bounty and reward. I am sure that if it were legal, two people would agree to fight to the death on live TV if the winner were to receive a large enough cash prize. Perhaps that is where FOX is headed. Sincerely, Ray Buffer Founder of the Adoptees' Caucus for Truth FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY & FOX ENTERTAINMENT GROUP On behalf of many outraged adoptees, I wish to protest FOX Television's descent into deplorable reality programming with its new, "Who's Your Daddy" game show. For millions of adoptees, the experience of having been adopted and the search for one's roots has never been a game. No matter how your network attempts to frame the content of this show, its intent is clear: attract viewers to a risqué topic, and thereby attract advertisers. I noticed that your own FOX News is attempting to mitigate the outrage of adoptees by rationalizing that the show may also uncover the identities of fathers for the new generation of children whose fathers are sperm donors. It is more than obvious that your network is now backpedaling away from this train-wreck of a show before it even airs, due to a guilty conscience. Defending your show by saying that the adoptees and the birthfathers involved volunteered does not make it right. Both parties are either so desperate for truth that they leaped at the producers offer, or desperate for money - that they sold out the millions of adoptees and birthparents who are reeling from the secrecy barrier presented by many laws in many states. Without question, the reunions of adoptees have been exploited by others in different formats and venues, but treating the quest for identity as a game show is like kicking a disabled person repeatedly. Adoptees are disabled from knowing their identities unless laws are changed, private investigators are hired, or rich and greedy producers choose to exploit them. What is next for FOX? "Name That Aborted Fetus?" "Who Wants to Marry a Vegetable? I implore you to leave this show on the shelf, and strive to create quality programming rather than sensationalistic and insulting television. Sincerely, Ray Buffer Founder of the Adoptees' Caucus for Truth |